“You’re never in love with anyone, you’re only love with your prejudice and hopeful idea of that person” – Source: Anthony de Mello
This is an explanation of why we fall in and out of love, even when the person we were in love with has not changed. De Mello argues that we are attracted to someone, perhaps physically, and then build a mental image of what that persons personality is like.
After developing a relationship with someone we ignore the bits that don’t match our earlier mental image or perhaps work on trying to change them.
If the person does not change to fit our early mental image we become disillusioned and fall out of love.
This is also caught in another quote (source unknown):
“A man marries a woman hoping she will never change but she does. A woman marries a man hoping he will change but he never does”.